Vance Air Force Base, Enid, Oklahoma

Posted Saturday, March 7, 2009 ·

Completing the move to Enid, Oklahoma and waiting six weeks, flight training at Vance Air Force Base finally began. The first few weeks were nothing but classroom lectures but eventually we hit the flightline and our squadrons. If you think Air Force training is cool, you're an idiot. It's even worse when you're a Navy pilot-in-training having to endure retarded Air Force antics day after day.

The first day in the squadron we were greeted with, "What?! What is this. Why are none of your boots shiny?! You have two minutes to go find polish and fix them." We all sat there bewildered. First of all, you don't polish your boots because the last thing you want is flammable wax catching fire while you're flying around at 20,000 feet. Second, HIS boots were more screwed up than ours. !!?!?!?!

Things continued to regress as we realized what the next seven months would be like. The Air Force enjoys a daily activity called "Standup" where a student stands at attention in front of the room and an instructor simulates a malfunction in your simulated plane. Your job is to talk your way through the emergency without screwing something up. I figured this could be somewhat practical until one day I hear the instructor comment, "That's not you would actually do it in the plane, but that's how I want you to handle it here." Here being in the simulated plane. So let me get this straight. You want us to practice handling the emergency the wrong way? Go Air Force.

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